Why so many expats struggle to make friends in Switzerland

I’ve noticed something about people who move to Switzerland, particularly extroverted Americans. They often find it really hard to settle.

And honestly? I get it.

Making friends as an adult is difficult. When you’re younger, you’re surrounded by opportunities to meet people: school, uni, sports clubs, after-school activities. Friendship just happens.

But as adults, life takes over. You’ve got work, bills, kids, and a limited amount of energy left at the end of the day. You’re not out socialising as much, and the chances to meet new people are fewer and further between. If you want connection, you have to be intentional about it.

Then you add the expat layer.

Most people who move abroad end up living in cities, and let’s be honest, cities just aren’t that friendly. Everyone’s rushing somewhere, juggling careers, constantly busy. It’s not that people are unkind; they’re just focused on their own lives.

Switzerland adds another twist because it’s not one homogenous culture; it’s really three, depending on where you are.In the German-speaking part, things tend to be a bit more structured and rule-based (you can even see it in how people recycle, with cardboard tied neatly with string). The French-speaking part feels slightly more formal but also more outwardly polite, with all those bonjour, madame moments. And the Italian-speaking part has its own, more relaxed rhythm again.

So yes, it can feel harder to connect. But it’s also important to understand why.

Swiss culture places a lot of value on personal space and respecting boundaries. People don’t tend to get involved in each other’s business. Coming from somewhere like the UK, where there’s always at least one nosy neighbour with too much time on their hands, I actually find that quite refreshing.

That said, it does make it harder to break through socially. You’ve got to earn your way into people’s circles.

I’ve lived in cities, towns, and now a small village of around 120 people. And do you know what? In just six weeks here, we’ve already had two neighbour apéros. So it is possible to find community; you just have to go out and find it.

I’ve also lived in Italy, which everyone imagines as this warm, sociable paradise. But even there, I found it difficult to make friends. I had to be incredibly intentional, going to language exchanges and meetups, doing whatever I could to create connection.

So yes, Switzerland can feel lonely. But honestly, that’s not unique to Switzerland. Making friends as an adult anywhere takes effort, openness, and a bit of persistence.

If you’re an expat and it feels hard, you’re not imagining it.You’re not doing anything wrong.You’re just living in a culture that values privacy more than openness, and you’re at a stage of life where connection requires effort.

It’s not you. It’s just adulthood, with a Swiss twist. 🇨🇭